No PTA presidents here

November 12, 2008

 

Like Hunter S. Thompson, the Godfather of Gonzo journalism, we GonzoMoms have a style all our own. Let’s just say we’re the least likely to micromanage the class holiday party, be elected PTA president or raise the kid who gets into an Ivy League college.  

You may be a GonzoMom if…

Your idea of a children’s bedtime story is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

You’d rather go to a dogfight than another @#$%## baby shower.

There is yellow CAUTION tape strung across the door to your kitchen.

You have a probation officer.

You took your kid to Six Flags for her birthday and told her it was Disneyworld.

Your idea of a kid-friendly outing is a tour of Alcatraz. (If they misbehave you can always threaten to leave them there.)

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GonzoMoms Unite!

November 11, 2008

This blog is dedicated to all the single moms out there, especially those trying to raise a daughter or—God help you—daughters. I don’t know much about boys because I didn’t raise one. Someone else did, and I married him. But that’s another story.

 

My LGGFG (Little Gag Gift from God) is now 18, a legal adult and headed off to that big party they call freshman year of college. That means I’ve survived the many delights of puberty, middle school, first driver’s license, first speeding ticket, first wreck, Promzilla and other terrifying episodes. My LGGFG can now vote, get a tattoo, smoke cigarettes and, in some states, ingest birth control pills—with Mom scheduling and paying for the initial doctor’s office visit, of course.

 

Perhaps you are still parenting an adorable child who hasn’t yet reached the teen years. She says and does cute things. She hugs you spontaneously. She tells you she loves you. For now. Just wait.

 

If you’re reading this and waiting for inspirational tips on how to survive your daughter’s teen years, you’re in the wrong place. You might try some other blog for more constructive advice. I hear experts recommend consistent rules, unconditional love and a sense of humor. Over the years, I’ve found that a couple of glasses of cheap Chardonnay at the end of the day work wonders.

Coming soon: You may be a GonzoMom if…

Just another day in the swamp

November 10, 2008

Hey, everybody, look at me! I’m blogging!